13 Reasons Why I'm Still Here
by FellowBookReader
Summary: Everyone's talking about the 13 reasons why Hannah committed suicide. What if Hannah changed her mind? What if Hannah wanted to live? What if Hannah found 13 reasons to stay alive? This is a twist on 13 reasons why. Hannah Baker was going to do it. She thought no one was there. That she was all alone in this cruel, harsh, hateful world. She had the blade pressed against her arm...
1. chapter 1

Hello everyone! This story is based on _13 Reasons Why_ by Jay Asher. All credit goes to him! Hopefully you all enjoy. Before you start reading though know that this story has been depressing for even me, while writing it. If you're going through a rough time just be wary this story has some dark thoughts of its own.

Also know that every single word that comes out of your mouth has a consequence. Every single action you make has a repercussion. No matter if it's good or bad, it has an effect. That effect could be minuscule or the biggest change in the course of history itself. Now, you don't have to be afraid to speak or act. You however, do control your words formed upon your lips, and your actions. When you walk down the street compliment people. Say, "Good morning." or "I like your shoes." You could give people a polite wave, or wide smile. Put cheer and happiness into the world. You never know how it might effect people. You never know what a person is going through. You don't know, so what's the harm in trying? None. Brighten people's day wherever you go because you don't know how much they may need it. You don't what change it could have, so why not give it a shot. It doesn't matter how you do it. Are you an antisocial nerd? Great! That's basically who we all are on Wattpad. If you are then comment on someone's story. Follow or favorite their profiles and stories. Share support, let people know you're there for them. If everyone did that just once a day think of how it might change our world. So change it!

On that note here is the story's summary.

Summary:

Everyone's talking about the 13 reasons why Hannah committed suicide. What if Hannah changed her mind? What if Hannah wanted to live? What if Hannah found 13 reasons to stay alive? This is a twist on 13 reasons why. Hannah Baker was going to do it. She thought no one was there. That she was all alone in this cruel, harsh, hateful world. She had the blade pressed against her forearm. Begging, the blade was begging for that extra push, to be released. But then she got a text. She put down the blade, and replied to Clay's stupid, nerdy pun. She smiled. A small smile, barely a tug at her lips, but yet her first smile in days. Got up. Drained the tub. Reconsidered. Realized, realized that she might be willing to give this undeserving world one more more shot at her joyous soul. She gave the world one more chance to save her. And the world took that chance. The world tried its best to save her. Did we? Did we save Hannah Baker from dying alone? Find out in 13 Reasons Why I'm still here.

Thank you all for reading! I'll try to update as often as I can. :)

-Fellowbookreader


	2. Chapter 1 (06-25 09:55:12)

**A/N: Here's the first chapter! I hope you all enjoy :)**

Loneliness. At some times it was the hardest thing for Hannah Baker. Sure she had 'friends' in her new town, but are they really your friends when they turn they backs on you? Do I really have anyone? Hannah thought exactly this when she got home from school one afternoon. Everyone hates me. Everyone thinks I'm an awful, obnoxious, slut. Are they right?

She started to wonder as she set down her backpack at the foot of her bed and grabbed her work uniform out of her top left drawer in her dresser. Maybe. Maybe not. Hannah ran these questions throughout her head over and over and over as she took off her purple shirt she wore that day to school and put on the neatly pressed, white collared shirt and red vest. She pinned on her name tag and wondered. Hannah wondered what it would be like not to be the newest bitch in town. The prey for every single bully in Crestmont. She wished in that moment to be someone else. She desperately wanted to pin a different name on that silky red vest. Wished. She wished something that she knew would never come true. She stripped off her uniform. She put the soft, purple, V-neck tshirt back on her torso, and ran.

She ran as far as she could while her salty, wet tears streamed down her face. She didn't care. She was just running. She didn't even know where to until she stopped right in front a familiar building. She didn't wipe the tears off until she stopped at the door of the Cresmont movie theater. She walked inside at a brisk pace and slammed her uniform on the counter not once bringing her eyes up to meet Clay's. She walked out knowing no one would follow her. No one would call her name. No one would even care for the reasons why she quit. No one ever would except her. No one would understand her pain. Hannah Baker thought no one would even care if she just vanished.

No one would care until she made them listen.

She went to her parents pharmacy. She got 13 audio tapes off of one of the racks telling her mom they were for a school project and went back home. Only to be greeted at her empty house with pain, with a loneliness so great it physically hit her in waves.

She collapsed right there as she shut the door. She slid down until she was positioned with her back against the door. It was as if she could shut out her tormenters with one easy slam of her front door. But she knew it wasn't that easy. Nothing ever was. She just sat there with no one to pick her back up. No one to help clean her up and ask her what was wrong. Even her parents who had always been there for her were too focused on the pharmacy to care for her. She was truly alone in this world. So she started planning for her great escape. Her freedom so close she could feel it. She was yearning that escape as she planned her escape from this world into the next.

 **Hi guys! Wow. That was depressing. Anyway... please leave some comments and let me know what you think. I'm always open to making changes and learning how to improve. Thanks for reading! Bye. Until next time.**


	3. IMPORTANT PLEASE READ

Hey guys, I just wanted to say that after I reread the previous chapters I don't know if I want to continue.

It seems to me like I made it seem like suicide was a choice for her, but it wasn't at the time. For her character it seemed like it was her only choice, only escape. I just think that I made it seem less than it was.

What I'm trying to say, is that it doesn't seem accurate, and I want to stay true to the story. If I was in Hannah's scenario at that point, I would've done it. I think most people would. It took her a ton of willpower to commit it as late as she did. To me, I think lots of other characters would have done it sooner. It just doesn't seem realistic to me for her to make any choice at all to stop her harming, or suicidal actions.

I don't want to belittle depression saying it's a choice, because I know that depression isn't. It just hits you whenever it wants.

Depression comes unwelcome, unwanted, and unplanned whenever it wants and that can be soooo hard sometimes.

In Hannah's scenario I don't think it could've just stopped with one text message from Clay. In the books, Clay wasn't even that close of a companion to Hannah. They just had little crushes for each other, and I don't think it would've been enough to sway her choice in any way.

Another reason why I'm saying this is, I was really lonely and sad when I wrote this and don't want to put myself in that mindset again to write this. When I originally wrote this and came up with the idea, I just wanted some hope that I could be a little happy as the end goal of this story was. (which was for Hannah to be in recovery at that point.)

 **I may decide to continue this story when I want to vent out some emotions, or if I decide to turn this into 13 Reasons Why One-shots. I'm really much happier now than I have been in a while and don't want to spoil that with having to get into a depressed mindset writing this. I hope you can all understand. If you have any ideas how to go on with this story, with my dilemma, please let me know because I would rather not leave this story unfinished. I won't be unpublishing this story. I guess it could be considered on hold for now, but I hope maybe I can finish it later. I'm sorry for putting this on hold, but in the meantime while I try to decide what to do with this story, you can check out some of my others. Bye for now!**

 **-Fellowbookreader**


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